Valokian Oozemaster

By Frannie Mouze


Just last night, at the Rompin’ Romani,
Distracted by Kate…
Not getting fey faced…
Rade proposed the sewers
I almost left…I stayed
Ever to my dismay…


Noriel got annoyed cause we were all lingering
She pulled out a poster
Quicker than she sets out coasters
Go look for this violet mage
And his lycan posers
Sucky reward, but we’re bored


Through the outskirts we went…
Looking here and there
Ooo in the tree, is a bear
Round and round, from east to west
It seemed like a pointless quest
Oh! By the waterfall, a scent fills the air.


There in a pile on the ground…
Some violet robes, and what’s that goo?
Dead lycans around, melting into a pool…
The scent, the stench, I had so hoped to forget
Its burned into my nose, into my soul…..
It’s the smell of the Oozemaster, I’m no fool….


I met him long ago, responding to alarms at Finmaegen Keep
He stole a cup, and hijacked some slaves,
He out and out ruined Lord Evershield’s day…
We followed his slime, his stench filled path of ooze
I thought we beat him, I thought he was slayed…
I guess I was wrong, thank Mikon I have perfume and a scarf….


Into the woods, we followed the slime…
All the worst smells you can think of, and then ten times worse
Down the ridge we doored, the leap we traversed….
Into a valley, ooooooo beware of the drips
Into the pool of slime we were immersed
Little oozes erupt and form… in the distance though I see him


Through the woods, slash, whap, strike down the lil bits of goo…
As we get closer, the stench grows ever more offensive
The oozes are larger, we’re all on the defensive
There he is, in the center of the pool of ooze
He looked at me, his gaze almost pensive…
He asked for me, and all others would be spared…


Tor made himself a human shield, as the Valokian spoke
“bards have the true power, the trust knows not what they miss”
Were the words that he spoke, I just wanted to cover my face
”Come freely, child. With your magic and mine, we will conquer this place”
I want to be seen, I want to be heard, but this orc’s suggestion is absurd
He continued “Damar will be entertained to hear of your ... end” ooo interesting case
Too bad for him, that didn’t impress me enough to overcome his scent…


He laughed, and the boys attacked…
Moonmage was flinging spells, and I whispered to her to pause….
Let the boys hit, the orc isn’t our foe, slinging spells now is a lost cause…
We waited impatient, burning up piles of slime and goo
Oh! there they go, they got him… heh they think it’s time to pause
I look to Sapphire, and say wait for it… it will come


From the puddle of ooze he rose….
A mass of slime, a sight to behold
Now Sapphire, let the spells roll
Flames start to fly, as everyone pushes at the shimmering ooze
Ooo…the battle, the stench, keep it up, don’t fold
There he goes… finally melting into the ground..


This song is to tell you,
This song is to keep in mind
When you smell the stench, watch out for the slime
The Oozemaster is a slimey beast
Lots of treasure though he does find.
Burn your clothes, and leave the stench behind!


Energies depleted
Oozemaster defeated….
For now…