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''This book simply bound in leather with little adornment.<br>
On the inside cover is writen ''Grag Tharashk: Poems''''<br>
'''Change'''  
'''Change'''  


In each heart  
In each heart<br>
lies life and death  
lies life and death<br>
joy, pain, and sorrow  
joy, pain, and sorrow<br>
and everything else  
and everything else<br>


What we show, what we feel  
What we show, what we feel<br>
determines who we are  
determines who we are<br>
yet change can come asudden  
yet change can come asudden<br>
an unforseen forking of life's path  
an unforseen forking of life's path<br>


Never think you're set in stone  
Never think you're set in stone<br>
(save if you've been petrefied)  
(save if you've been petrefied)<br>
any choice can be counterbalanced  
any choice can be counterbalanced<br>
if you need to be rectified  
if you need to be rectified<br>


Darkness can be lightened  
Darkness can be lightened<br>
as light cloaked in shadow  
as light cloaked in shadow<br>
a lover's kiss can turn to poison  
a lover's kiss can turn to poison<br>
or a foe's hate turn to love  
or a foe's hate turn to love<br>
nothing is beyond change.  
nothing is beyond change.<br>




'''Today'''  
'''Today'''<br>


To have this moment last a lifetime  
To have this moment last a lifetime<br>
if it must not last forever  
if it must not last forever<br>
To remain within today  
To remain within today<br>
and throw away tomorrow  
and throw away tomorrow<br>


If we could live as mayflies  
If we could live as mayflies<br>
whose whole life spans a day  
whose whole life spans a day<br>
Hold close, each to the other  
Hold close, each to the other<br>
for what would seem forever  
for what would seem forever<br>
living only for today  
living only for today<br>


To keep our skins in contact  
To keep our skins in contact<br>
and each to feel the other heart's vital beating  
and each to feel the other heart's vital beating<br>
would we be wise to live  
would we be wise to live<br>
for today alone?  
for today alone?<br>
and worry not for tomorrow?
and worry not for tomorrow?<br>




----
----
'''Untitled I'''
'''Untitled I'''<br>
 
Vast gulfs of air lay between us<br>
the wind moans your name<br>
like a man's dying breath<br>
a sound that mocks me<br>
and hightens my lonliness<br>
 
Time's vast expanse stands<br>
on opposite ends we find ourselves<br>
allowed niether to begin our time together<br>
nor to end our lonliness<br>
 
You and I from different worlds<br>
spread apart yet drawn together<br>
let the Planes of the Wheel<br>
rage with unbridled zeal<br>
still will we return<br>
and end this lonliness.<br>
 
 
'''Writing'''<br>
 
I dip my quill in ink<br>
yet know not what to think<br>
as I stare at my page<br>
 
I sit with my untensils<br>
impotent before me<br>
no inspiration is forthcoming<br>
though threw me flow sorrow, joy, and rage<br>
 
I play a moment with that last<br>
or does it play with me?<br>
toy with thoughts of angry jealousy<br>
take a sigh<br>
and let them pass<br>
 
my hand carries quill with its attendant ink<br>
flowing across the paper leaf<br>
and then I realise what I've done<br>
the page is now so much fuller<br>
than when I had begun.<br>
 
 
'''Untitled II'''<br>
 
I am not saintly<br>
nor am I vile<br>
I am merely a person<br>
whose soul is on trial<br>
 
I question myself<br>
and seek always improvement<br>
yet constantly facing<br>
my own hypocricy<br>
 
I am presented to all<br>
in all my complexity<br>
to any who wish<br>
to accept or reject me<br>
I leave the choice<br>
holy to you.<br>
 
 
'''Perceptions'''<br>
 
I walk from each moment to the next<br>
often incoherant<br>
and more often depressed<br>
 
As I take my paces<br>
I struggle to be<br>
unsure of my true identity<br>
 
sometimes I wonder at the words which I speak<br>
sure, they are pleasing to the ear<br>
but might they be just lies?<br>
What can you percieve<br>
with your prying eyes?<br>
 
 
'''The Revisionist'''<br>
 
Through years as through days<br>
even hours, minutes, moments<br>
events conspire to develop<br>
in ways which do not please us<br>
 
Yet what has past is past<br>
there is no known way to change it<br>
Gnashing teeth and wringing hands only brings more pain<br>
So, why woudn't one refrain?<br>
 
Each broken bond brings freedom<br>
along with loss' pain<br>
half-blind eyes are those that on the latter train.<br>
 
That which fails to slay<br>
only serves to strengthen<br>
And just as every year needs some rain<br>
so every life requires pain.<br>
 
 
'''Untitled III'''<br>
 
Lives were lived<br>
that are now over<br>
weather ended by hand of time, god, or mortal<br>
matters little<br>
The sun has set on those days past<br>
and stars have lost all noting of them.<br>
 
But they are not gone (faded to nothing)<br>
not at all like whisps of vapor<br>
 
For in all things, new from old is forged<br>
and those who've past come forth again<br>
Ready once more to be etched<br>
by twin dies of joy and sorrow<br>
Ready to be painted<br>
in colors of sin and innocence.<br>
 
 
'''Darkfire'''<br>
 
Darkness seems inescapable<br>
when light is unseen<br>
so dispair is engulfing<br>
when you have left me<br>
 
When you are gone<br>
there is but a hole<br>
come, my dearest<br>
be the light<br>
to ignite my soul<br>
 
 
'''Connections'''<br>
 
From each to each connected<br>
thin strands of need or friendship<br>
Span the gulfs between one soul and its fellows<br>
 
As time passes old links may wither<br>
or young strands may arise<br>
weak strands come unglued<br>
strong ones might survive<br>
 
If one is uncautious<br>
he may find himself in a tangle<br>
cocooned, like a spider's treat<br>
left paralyzed<br>
 
If one is too cautious<br>
she may find herself isolated<br>
with too few conections to resist<br>
the pull of a bottomless pit<br>
 
If one finds the mean<br>
there still is no garuntee<br>
their life will be found pleasant<br>
but at least, there is the chance.<br>
 
 
'''Gamble'''<br>
 
Open<br>
Close<br>
 
A Mind<br>
or a Door<br>
 
decide<br>
or leave for others to<br>
 
It's all up to you<br>
 
weather to play it safe <br>
or throw the dice<br>
 
 
'''Tempest of Fate'''<br>
 
Day follows day<br>
as hour by hour<br>
you toil to remember<br>
what you were after.<br>
 
You win some<br>
You Lose some<br>
 
Between opulence and starvation<br>
you bounce<br>
Fates of the nations mean little to you<br>
On opportunity you, like a cat, pounce<br>
And so learn another feline was after it, too.<br>
 
You toss and you turn about in your sleep<br>
Much like you are tossed when awake<br>
seeking any spar, or lover, to hold to<br>
caught within the tempest of fate.<br>
 
 
'''Perconceptions'''<br>
 
Am I deep as an ocean<br>
or a shallow puddle?<br>
is my light my own<br>
or merely reflected?<br>
 
What tides rule me?<br>
Cause my inner sea to overflow with anger?<br>
Twisting word and deed<br>
into unrecogniseable confusion?<br>
what can be my conclusion?<br>
 
 
'''Realignment'''<br>
 
I try to remove this taint on my soul<br>
or perhaps a hole<br>
lingering conncetion to death<br>
it wont go away<br>
though my link be reduced<br>
it is here to stay<br>
 
 
'''Helping Hands'''<br>
 
To aid my fellow mortals<br>
how shall I proceed?<br>
Do I sow disaster<br>
with my well meaning deeds?<br>
 
If I offer help to you<br>
will you take offense?<br>
or will you take advantage<br>
to harm innocents?<br>
 
Yet if I hold back my aid<br>
from fear or prejudice<br>
how can I call myself<br>
anything save knave?<br>
Or coward.<br>
 
If I hide in my patch of light<br>
afriad to enter even the slightest shadow<br>
how can I hope to aid<br>
those whose needs are not shallow?<br>
 
 
'''Anticipation'''<br>
 
At last the day arrives<br>
to the lake I journey<br>
there to find<br>
my beloved bride<br>
 
As many folks as I have known<br>
might be seen to gather<br>
a keleidoscope of color, race, and dispositions<br>
all have crossed the paths of two lives<br>
 
Now the time appoaches<br>
and we show the world<br>
that these two hearts<br>
have syncronised<br>
that two lives have joined as one<br>
for all our mortal days<br>
 
 
'''Disapointment'''<br>
 
Delays and diversions<br>
seem to be our lot<br>
no matter how we run<br>
there is still more road to trot<br>
 
frustration seeps in<br>
accompanied by anger<br>
ruled by fear<br>
that our destination will never near.<br>
 
 
'''Vanishment'''<br>
 
You've been gone<br>
for forever and ten days<br>
or so it seems to me<br>
 
with your disapearance<br>
lonliness creeps in<br>
it becomes quite the clammor<br>
strikes my heart like the cruelist hammer<br>
 
the fear mounts<br>
often making me pout<br>
hiding my wonders<br>
of where to hope for succor<br>
 
 
'''Run Around'''<br>
 
Your silence is deafening<br>
enveloping<br>
and terrifying<br>
to me<br>
 
without confirmation<br>
my worst hallucenations<br>
spring to mind<br>
unbidden<br>
and wont go away.<br>
 
 
 
'''For Love of a Sister'''<br>
 
Sister,<br>
cry your tears<br>
but know not fear<br>
of those who love you<br>
 
cling to friendships<br>
you hold them dear<br>
and we would never flee your need<br>
nor leave you in the dust strewn road<br>
 
Sister,<br>
you needn't seek your path alone<br>
nor must you feel you need atone<br>
our love will be yours always<br>
 
the road you are to trod<br>
has not yet been laid<br>
donot be afraid<br>
that its destination is already set<br>
 
Sister,<br>
donot force yourself to fit<br>
into any ill-shaped hole<br>
donot take a role<br>
forced on you by others<br>
 
Know that while we might not always agree<br>
you still are family<br>
I will always call you<br>
SISTER<br>
 
 
'''Relief'''<br>
 
Teardrops fall<br>
blood will boil<br>
Pain and angst and sorrow froath<br>
 
Love and Hatred intertwine<br>
like errant strands of hemp and silk<br>
twisting knotting convoluting<br>
untill they become indistiguishable to my eye.<br>
 
And then I blink <br>
heave and sob<br>
And all is clear once more.<br>
 
 
'''Hope and Fear'''<br>
 
Hope<br>
all I can do<br>
 
Hope<br>
that she returns to me<br>
that the vectors our lives have taken<br>
continue thier intersecting courses<br>


Vast gulfs of air lay between us
Hope<br>
the wind moans your name
that what seemed so certain<br>
like a man's dying breath
has not been made impossible<br>
a sound that mocks me
that we will meet again<br>
and hightens my lonliness


Time's vast expanse stands
all I can do<br>
on opposite ends we find ourselves
Hope<br>
allowed niether to begin our time together
nor to end our lonliness


You and I from different worlds
spread apart yet drawn together
let the Planes of the Wheel
rage with unbridled zeal
still will we return
and end this lonliness.


Fear<br>
what I feel most strongly<br>


'''Writing'''
Fear<br>
the senation that paralyses<br>
leaves me numb after searing pain<br>


I dip my quill in ink
Fear<br>
yet know not what to think
my heart's breaking once again<br>
as I stare at my page
shattered pieces impale me like shards of broken crystal<br>


I sit with my untensils
I strongly feel my<br>
impotent before me
Fear<br>
no inspiration is forthcoming
though threw me flow sorrow, joy, and rage


I play a moment with that last
or does it play with me?
toy with thoughts of angry jealousy
take a sigh
and let them pass


my hand carries quill with its attendant ink
'''Seeking'''<br>
flowing across the paper leaf
and then I realise what I've done
the page is now so much fuller
than when I had begun.


'''Untitled II'''
Fled beloved<br>
return to me<br>
can I persist<br>
absent your company?<br>


I am not saintly
Fled beloved<br>
nor am I vile
run no more<br>
I am merely a person
join me by the lake shore<br>
whose soul is on trial
in the City of Andrinor<br>


I question myself
Fled beloved<br>
and seek always improvement
what would you do<br>
yet constantly facing
were I to flee<br>
my own hypocricy
after you?<br>


I am presented to all
in all my complexity
to any who wish
to accept or reject me
I leave the choice
holy to you.


'''Untitled III'''
'''Solitutde'''<br>


I walk from each moment to the next
Alone?<br>
often incoherant
solitude has its uses, I suppose<br>
and more often depressed
may you find<br>
sweet repose<br>


As I take my paces
Rest<br>
I struggle to be  
my love<br>
unsure of my true identity
I'll be here<br>
when you awaken<br>


sometimes I wonder at the words which I speak
sure, they are pleasing to the ear
but might they be just lies?
What can you percieve
with your prying eyes?


'''Daily Grind'''<br>


'''The Revisionist'''
Good days<br>
Bad days<br>
blurring by me<br>
can't tell the difference anymore<br>
no longer keeping score<br>


Through years as through days  
Bad days<br>
even hours, minutes, moments
Good days<br>
events conspire to develop
niether matter overly much<br>
in ways which do not please us
they all bearly touch<br>
the ultimate fate<br>


Yet what has past is past
No matter how many I heal<br>
there is no known way to change it
there still will be more<br>
Gnashing teeth and wringing hands only brings more pain
no matter how much I love<br>
So, why woudn't one refrain?
I'll still be tainted by hate<br>
my challenge is great.<br>


Each broken bond brings freedom
along with loss' pain
half-blind eyes are those that on the latter train.


That which fails to slay
'''Idyle Hands'''<br>
only serves to strengthen
And just as every year needs some rain
so every life requires pain.


'''Untitled IV'''
Why do I bother<br>
to write any words?<br>
why do I bother<br>
to write poetry?<br>


Lives were lived
I am no bard<br>
that are now over
they give me no sustenace<br>
weather ended by hand of time, god, or mortal
and often times<br>
matters little
grant no relief<br>
The sun has set on those days past
and stars have lost all noting of them.


But they are not gone (faded to nothing)
Why do I use<br>
not at all like whisps of vapor
this pen and this ink<br>
why do I comsume<br>
all this blank paper?<br>


For in all things, new from old is forged
do I really<br>
and those who've past come forth again
want to know<br>
Ready once more to be etched
why?<br>
by twin dies of joy and sorrow
Ready to be painted
in colors of sin and innocence.


'''Darkfire'''


Darkness seems inescapable
'''Needy'''<br>
when light is unseen
so dispair is engulfing
when you have left me


When you are gone
I need a voice<br>
there is but a hole
to tell me I'll be okay<br>
come, my dearest
that I will get through this<br>
be the light
that what awaits me is worth it<br>
to ignite my soul


'''Connections'''
I need a touch<br>
to calm or embrace me<br>
a friend I can reach out to and feel<br>
so I know that friend to be real<br>


From each to each connected
I need a hand<br>
thin strands of need or friendship
with the burdens I carry<br>
Span the gulfs between one soul and its fellows
or rather an eye<br>
to identify them<br>


As time passes old links may wither
I need<br>
or young strands may arise
weak strands come unglued
strong ones might survive


If one is uncautious
he may find himself in a tangle
cocooned, like a spider's treat
left paralyzed


If one is too cautious
'''Mistbound'''<br>
she may find herself isolated
with too few conections to resist
the pull of a bottomless pit


If one finds the mean
Two ships passing<br>
there still is no garuntee
on an unclear night<br>
their life will be found pleasant
each notes the other<br>
but at least, there is the chance.
for but a moment<br>


'''Gamble'''
then each is swallowed<br>
by the mists of time and distance<br>
like soliders lost<br>
in the fog of war<br>


Open
I do not wish<br>
Close
for us to be<br>
Two ships passing<br>
in the night<br>


A Mind
or a Door


decide
'''Fortified'''<br>
or leave for others to


It's all up to you
I construct my wall<br>
for my defense<br>
and man its ramparts<br>
day and night<br>
defeding against<br>
enemies unseen<br>
yet still very real<br>
to me.<br>


weather to play it safe
or throw the dice


'''Tempest of Fate'''  
'''Untitled IV'''<br>


Day follows day
Where did it go<br>
as hour by hour
my idealism?<br>
you toil to remember
what you were after.


You win some
from whence comes<br>
You Lose some
this heavy cynicism?<br>


Between opulence and starvation
do I lead those I call friends<br>
you bounce
on paths of death and doom?<br>
Fates of the nations mean little to you
On opportunity you, like a cat, pounce
And so learn another feline was after it, too.


You toss and you turn about in your sleep
do I offer hope of redemption<br>
Much like you are tossed when awake
or do I lead to damnation<br>
seeking any spar, or lover, to hold to  
for souls whose purity would be untainted<br>
caught within the tempest of fate.
save for my delusion?<br>


'''Perconceptions'''
am I to walk alone?<br>
can I find a way to atone<br>
for wrongs I feel I've done<br>
but cannot name for lack of knowledge<br>
though I seek all my days?<br>


Am I deep as an ocean
or a shallow puddle?
is my light myown
or merely reflected?


What tides rule me?
'''Weakness'''<br>
Cause my inner sea to overflow with anger?
Twisting word and deed
into unrecogniseable confusion?
what can be my conclusion?


'''Realignment'''
Useless USELESS<br>
cracking under slightest strain, suddenly<br>
broken<br>
explosion BOOM<br>
or implosion?<br>


I try to remove this taint on my soul
Birth<br>
or perhaps a hole
or death<br>
lingering conncetion to death  
or change<br>
it wont go away
or is it all the same?<br>
though my link be reduced
it is here to stay


'''Helping Hands'''


To aid my fellow mortals
'''Unoriginal'''<br>
how shall I proceed?
Do I sow disaster
with my well meaning deeds?


If I offer help to you
How unoriginal I am<br>
will you take offense?
a mere echo of other lives past by<br>
or will you take advantage
angsty, like a child<br>
to harm innocents?
weakly snapped<br>
like a toy child's sword<br>


Yet if I hold back my aid
tearful, as if<br>
from fear or prejudice
I am the main<br>
how can I call myself
in a long running tragedy<br>
anything save knave?
who's fate is sealed<br>
Or coward.  
and known by all the auidience<br>
but unknown to him.<br>


If I hide in my patch of light
writen reread<br>
afriad to enter even the slightest shadow
uncountable times<br>
how can I hope to aid
well posted<br>
those whose needs are not shallow?
my list of crimes<br>
all have been done before<br>
millions of times<br>
oh, how unoriginal am I?<br>


'''Anticipation'''


At last the day arrives
'''Letters'''<br>
to the lake I journey
there to find
my beloved bride


As many folks as I have known
Writing letters<br>
might be seen to gather  
never sending<br>
a keleidoscope of color, race, and dispositions
leaving them to gather dust<br>
all have crossed the paths of two lives
and cling with cobwebs, and smell of must<br>


Now the time appoaches
writing protestations<br>
and we show the world
for my feeble cries<br>
that these two hearts
brought easily by anything<br>
have syncronised
the least not to my liking<br>
that two lives have joined as one
for all our mortal days


'''Disapointment'''
without direction<br>
nor point nor aim<br>
exploding, imploding<br>
and repeating myself<br>


Delays and diversions
Letters writen<br>
seem to be our lot
and best left unsent?<br>
no matter how we run
there is still more road to trot


frustration seeps in
accompanied by anger
ruled by fear
that our destination will never near.


'''Vanishment'''
'''Untitled V'''<br>


You've been gone
Ruthless or kind<br>
for forever and ten days
a Healer or Killer?<br>
or so it seems to me
do I destroy or create<br>
do I give or do I take?<br>


with your disapearance
A Parent or Child<br>
lonliness creeps in
beneficient belligerance<br>
it becomes quite the clammor
am I<br>
strikes my heart like the cruelist hammer


the fear mounts
self condradicting<br>
often making me pout
and highly hypocritical<br>
hiding my wonders
without a leg on which to stand<br>
of where to hope for succor


'''Run Around'''
how can I be<br>
such diseprate things?<br>
I know naught<br>
save that I am.<br>


Your silence is deafening
enveloping
and terrifying
to me


without confirmation
'''Flailing'''<br>
my worst hallucenations
spring to mind
unbidden
and wont go away.


Drowning<br>
I grasp a reed<br>
my grip is too strong<br>
or the stem is too brittle<br>
the reed shatters, and pierces my palm<br>
now I am drowning in waters of red<br>


'''For Love of a Sister'''


Sister,
'''Hope'''<br>
cry your tears
but know not fear
of those who love you


cling to friendships
Hope springs eternal<br>
you hold them dear
and is the eternal fool<br>
and we would never flee your need
though she is repeatedly shown wrong<br>
nor leave you in the dust strewn road
she seems to never learn<br>


Sister,
yet despite her folly<br>
you needn't seek your path alone
it is she who endures<br>
nor must you feel you need atone
and sustains<br>
our love will be yours always
when no other wheel is to be had<br>


the road you are to trod
has not yet been laid
donot be afraid
that its destination is already set


Sister,
'''Local Weather'''<br>
donot force yourself to fit
into any ill-shaped hole
donot take a role
forced on you by others


Know that while we might not always agree
emptiness<br>
you still are family
or nearly so<br>
I will always call you
mass of air<br>
SISTER
whipped to a cyclone<br>
void at its eye<br>
and void without it<br>


'''Relief'''
whirling storm<br>
brings destruction<br>
leaves renewal<br>
by what remains<br>


Teardrops fall
blood will boil
Pain and angst and sorrow froath


Love and Hatred intertwine
'''the Two Flames'''<br>
like errant strands of hemp and silk
twisting knotting convoluting
untill they become indistiguishable to my eye.


And then I blink
Thunder crashing<br>
heave and sob
lightning strikes<br>
And all is clear once more.
and so a new flame has been born<br>


flickering from its arborean mother<br>
with the passion of its father<br>
living to consume<br>
or consuming just to live<br>


'''Hope and Fear'''
Found by a tribesman<br>
now become a protected flame<br>
harnessed to aid his fellows<br>


Hope
behind remains its sibling<br>
all I can do
another would be sacred flame<br>
left untended it enlarges<br>
untill woodland is consumed<br>


Hope
that she returns to me
that the vectors our lives have taken
continue thier intersecting courses


Hope
'''Beastman'''<br>
that what seemed so certain
has not been made impossible
that we will meet again


all I can do
Beast<br>
Hope
were you always so?<br>


did you always knaw and tear<br>
have you always had such hair!<br>
and muzzle filled with long sharp teeth?<br>


Fear
Beast<br>
what I feel most strongly
so you are now called<br>
was that always your appellation?<br>


Fear
slavering jaws and twitching claws<br>
the senation that paralyses
find your repose for a short while<br>
leaves me numb after searing pain
rest relax<br>
and regain yourself<br>


Fear
Beast<br>
my heart's breaking once again  
you are not!<br>
shattered pieces impale me like shards of broken crystal
and needn't ever seem again<br>
come with me<br>
and remember who you are.<br>


I strongly feel my
Fear


'''Seeking'''
'''Judgement'''<br>


Fled beloved
Do I judge myself too hashly?<br>
return to me
who are you to say?<br>
can I persist
but then, who am I?<br>
absent your company?  


Fled beloved
Who am I<br>
run no more
to call myself holy saint or sinner foul<br>
join me by the lake shore
who am I<br>
in the City of Andrinor
to think I have such measures down?<br>


Fled beloved
how can I judge<br>
what would you do
my impact on the world?<br>
were I to flee
be small or great<br>
after you?
how would I awake to know?<br>

Latest revision as of 21:34, 3 July 2006

This book simply bound in leather with little adornment.
On the inside cover is writen Grag Tharashk: Poems''


Change

In each heart
lies life and death
joy, pain, and sorrow
and everything else

What we show, what we feel
determines who we are
yet change can come asudden
an unforseen forking of life's path

Never think you're set in stone
(save if you've been petrefied)
any choice can be counterbalanced
if you need to be rectified

Darkness can be lightened
as light cloaked in shadow
a lover's kiss can turn to poison
or a foe's hate turn to love
nothing is beyond change.


Today

To have this moment last a lifetime
if it must not last forever
To remain within today
and throw away tomorrow

If we could live as mayflies
whose whole life spans a day
Hold close, each to the other
for what would seem forever
living only for today

To keep our skins in contact
and each to feel the other heart's vital beating
would we be wise to live
for today alone?
and worry not for tomorrow?



Untitled I

Vast gulfs of air lay between us
the wind moans your name
like a man's dying breath
a sound that mocks me
and hightens my lonliness

Time's vast expanse stands
on opposite ends we find ourselves
allowed niether to begin our time together
nor to end our lonliness

You and I from different worlds
spread apart yet drawn together
let the Planes of the Wheel
rage with unbridled zeal
still will we return
and end this lonliness.


Writing

I dip my quill in ink
yet know not what to think
as I stare at my page

I sit with my untensils
impotent before me
no inspiration is forthcoming
though threw me flow sorrow, joy, and rage

I play a moment with that last
or does it play with me?
toy with thoughts of angry jealousy
take a sigh
and let them pass

my hand carries quill with its attendant ink
flowing across the paper leaf
and then I realise what I've done
the page is now so much fuller
than when I had begun.


Untitled II

I am not saintly
nor am I vile
I am merely a person
whose soul is on trial

I question myself
and seek always improvement
yet constantly facing
my own hypocricy

I am presented to all
in all my complexity
to any who wish
to accept or reject me
I leave the choice
holy to you.


Perceptions

I walk from each moment to the next
often incoherant
and more often depressed

As I take my paces
I struggle to be
unsure of my true identity

sometimes I wonder at the words which I speak
sure, they are pleasing to the ear
but might they be just lies?
What can you percieve
with your prying eyes?


The Revisionist

Through years as through days
even hours, minutes, moments
events conspire to develop
in ways which do not please us

Yet what has past is past
there is no known way to change it
Gnashing teeth and wringing hands only brings more pain
So, why woudn't one refrain?

Each broken bond brings freedom
along with loss' pain
half-blind eyes are those that on the latter train.

That which fails to slay
only serves to strengthen
And just as every year needs some rain
so every life requires pain.


Untitled III

Lives were lived
that are now over
weather ended by hand of time, god, or mortal
matters little
The sun has set on those days past
and stars have lost all noting of them.

But they are not gone (faded to nothing)
not at all like whisps of vapor

For in all things, new from old is forged
and those who've past come forth again
Ready once more to be etched
by twin dies of joy and sorrow
Ready to be painted
in colors of sin and innocence.


Darkfire

Darkness seems inescapable
when light is unseen
so dispair is engulfing
when you have left me

When you are gone
there is but a hole
come, my dearest
be the light
to ignite my soul


Connections

From each to each connected
thin strands of need or friendship
Span the gulfs between one soul and its fellows

As time passes old links may wither
or young strands may arise
weak strands come unglued
strong ones might survive

If one is uncautious
he may find himself in a tangle
cocooned, like a spider's treat
left paralyzed

If one is too cautious
she may find herself isolated
with too few conections to resist
the pull of a bottomless pit

If one finds the mean
there still is no garuntee
their life will be found pleasant
but at least, there is the chance.


Gamble

Open
Close

A Mind
or a Door

decide
or leave for others to

It's all up to you

weather to play it safe
or throw the dice


Tempest of Fate

Day follows day
as hour by hour
you toil to remember
what you were after.

You win some
You Lose some

Between opulence and starvation
you bounce
Fates of the nations mean little to you
On opportunity you, like a cat, pounce
And so learn another feline was after it, too.

You toss and you turn about in your sleep
Much like you are tossed when awake
seeking any spar, or lover, to hold to
caught within the tempest of fate.


Perconceptions

Am I deep as an ocean
or a shallow puddle?
is my light my own
or merely reflected?

What tides rule me?
Cause my inner sea to overflow with anger?
Twisting word and deed
into unrecogniseable confusion?
what can be my conclusion?


Realignment

I try to remove this taint on my soul
or perhaps a hole
lingering conncetion to death
it wont go away
though my link be reduced
it is here to stay


Helping Hands

To aid my fellow mortals
how shall I proceed?
Do I sow disaster
with my well meaning deeds?

If I offer help to you
will you take offense?
or will you take advantage
to harm innocents?

Yet if I hold back my aid
from fear or prejudice
how can I call myself
anything save knave?
Or coward.

If I hide in my patch of light
afriad to enter even the slightest shadow
how can I hope to aid
those whose needs are not shallow?


Anticipation

At last the day arrives
to the lake I journey
there to find
my beloved bride

As many folks as I have known
might be seen to gather
a keleidoscope of color, race, and dispositions
all have crossed the paths of two lives

Now the time appoaches
and we show the world
that these two hearts
have syncronised
that two lives have joined as one
for all our mortal days


Disapointment

Delays and diversions
seem to be our lot
no matter how we run
there is still more road to trot

frustration seeps in
accompanied by anger
ruled by fear
that our destination will never near.


Vanishment

You've been gone
for forever and ten days
or so it seems to me

with your disapearance
lonliness creeps in
it becomes quite the clammor
strikes my heart like the cruelist hammer

the fear mounts
often making me pout
hiding my wonders
of where to hope for succor


Run Around

Your silence is deafening
enveloping
and terrifying
to me

without confirmation
my worst hallucenations
spring to mind
unbidden
and wont go away.


For Love of a Sister

Sister,
cry your tears
but know not fear
of those who love you

cling to friendships
you hold them dear
and we would never flee your need
nor leave you in the dust strewn road

Sister,
you needn't seek your path alone
nor must you feel you need atone
our love will be yours always

the road you are to trod
has not yet been laid
donot be afraid
that its destination is already set

Sister,
donot force yourself to fit
into any ill-shaped hole
donot take a role
forced on you by others

Know that while we might not always agree
you still are family
I will always call you
SISTER


Relief

Teardrops fall
blood will boil
Pain and angst and sorrow froath

Love and Hatred intertwine
like errant strands of hemp and silk
twisting knotting convoluting
untill they become indistiguishable to my eye.

And then I blink
heave and sob
And all is clear once more.


Hope and Fear

Hope
all I can do

Hope
that she returns to me
that the vectors our lives have taken
continue thier intersecting courses

Hope
that what seemed so certain
has not been made impossible
that we will meet again

all I can do
Hope


Fear
what I feel most strongly

Fear
the senation that paralyses
leaves me numb after searing pain

Fear
my heart's breaking once again
shattered pieces impale me like shards of broken crystal

I strongly feel my
Fear


Seeking

Fled beloved
return to me
can I persist
absent your company?

Fled beloved
run no more
join me by the lake shore
in the City of Andrinor

Fled beloved
what would you do
were I to flee
after you?


Solitutde

Alone?
solitude has its uses, I suppose
may you find
sweet repose

Rest
my love
I'll be here
when you awaken


Daily Grind

Good days
Bad days
blurring by me
can't tell the difference anymore
no longer keeping score

Bad days
Good days
niether matter overly much
they all bearly touch
the ultimate fate

No matter how many I heal
there still will be more
no matter how much I love
I'll still be tainted by hate
my challenge is great.


Idyle Hands

Why do I bother
to write any words?
why do I bother
to write poetry?

I am no bard
they give me no sustenace
and often times
grant no relief

Why do I use
this pen and this ink
why do I comsume
all this blank paper?

do I really
want to know
why?


Needy

I need a voice
to tell me I'll be okay
that I will get through this
that what awaits me is worth it

I need a touch
to calm or embrace me
a friend I can reach out to and feel
so I know that friend to be real

I need a hand
with the burdens I carry
or rather an eye
to identify them

I need


Mistbound

Two ships passing
on an unclear night
each notes the other
for but a moment

then each is swallowed
by the mists of time and distance
like soliders lost
in the fog of war

I do not wish
for us to be
Two ships passing
in the night


Fortified

I construct my wall
for my defense
and man its ramparts
day and night
defeding against
enemies unseen
yet still very real
to me.


Untitled IV

Where did it go
my idealism?

from whence comes
this heavy cynicism?

do I lead those I call friends
on paths of death and doom?

do I offer hope of redemption
or do I lead to damnation
for souls whose purity would be untainted
save for my delusion?

am I to walk alone?
can I find a way to atone
for wrongs I feel I've done
but cannot name for lack of knowledge
though I seek all my days?


Weakness

Useless USELESS
cracking under slightest strain, suddenly
broken
explosion BOOM
or implosion?

Birth
or death
or change
or is it all the same?


Unoriginal

How unoriginal I am
a mere echo of other lives past by
angsty, like a child
weakly snapped
like a toy child's sword

tearful, as if
I am the main
in a long running tragedy
who's fate is sealed
and known by all the auidience
but unknown to him.

writen reread
uncountable times
well posted
my list of crimes
all have been done before
millions of times
oh, how unoriginal am I?


Letters

Writing letters
never sending
leaving them to gather dust
and cling with cobwebs, and smell of must

writing protestations
for my feeble cries
brought easily by anything
the least not to my liking

without direction
nor point nor aim
exploding, imploding
and repeating myself

Letters writen
and best left unsent?


Untitled V

Ruthless or kind
a Healer or Killer?
do I destroy or create
do I give or do I take?

A Parent or Child
beneficient belligerance
am I

self condradicting
and highly hypocritical
without a leg on which to stand

how can I be
such diseprate things?
I know naught
save that I am.


Flailing

Drowning
I grasp a reed
my grip is too strong
or the stem is too brittle
the reed shatters, and pierces my palm
now I am drowning in waters of red


Hope

Hope springs eternal
and is the eternal fool
though she is repeatedly shown wrong
she seems to never learn

yet despite her folly
it is she who endures
and sustains
when no other wheel is to be had


Local Weather

emptiness
or nearly so
mass of air
whipped to a cyclone
void at its eye
and void without it

whirling storm
brings destruction
leaves renewal
by what remains


the Two Flames

Thunder crashing
lightning strikes
and so a new flame has been born

flickering from its arborean mother
with the passion of its father
living to consume
or consuming just to live

Found by a tribesman
now become a protected flame
harnessed to aid his fellows

behind remains its sibling
another would be sacred flame
left untended it enlarges
untill woodland is consumed


Beastman

Beast
were you always so?

did you always knaw and tear
have you always had such hair!
and muzzle filled with long sharp teeth?

Beast
so you are now called
was that always your appellation?

slavering jaws and twitching claws
find your repose for a short while
rest relax
and regain yourself

Beast
you are not!
and needn't ever seem again
come with me
and remember who you are.


Judgement

Do I judge myself too hashly?
who are you to say?
but then, who am I?

Who am I
to call myself holy saint or sinner foul
who am I
to think I have such measures down?

how can I judge
my impact on the world?
be small or great
how would I awake to know?