Paladin Date Night (full version)

by Brant Risko

Some say this song's too bawdy
Some have even called it lewd
I myself use the word risque
Gorethites just say it's crude

In any case, I'll now tell a tale
As bold as bold can be
Although none of them admit it now
The tale was once passed along to me

Of the night the paladins joined together
In search of love so true
They called it Paladin Date Night
And dreamed of meeting someone new

To break the ice, they sang some songs
But that didn't help a thing
Like caterwauling injured cats
Paladins weren't meant to sing

Next they started playing games
Like tag and duck duck goose
But when the ale and wine were poured
Is when those old stuffed shirts cut loose

Because one thing led to another
Until some trickster pulled a prank
She snuck behind the nearest dwarf
And pulled his pants down with a yank

Once the initial shock wore off
Those assembled roared with laughter
Before long it became a thing
And few were wearing pants thereafter

Remember this began as date night
So hopped up on wine and pheremones
Furtive glances turned into outright stares
And the wish to jump each other's bones

Now all the clothing started coming off
Until everything was removed
The band kicked into higher gear
And naked paladins found their groove

What happened next we're left to guess
But no doubt it was entrancing
I'll simply leave that image in your mind
The sight of naked paladins dancing