The Ill-Fated Trip

The Ill-Fated Trip

All we were doing was going to Deglos,
Going to Deglos, going to Deglos.
A goblin, a dwarf, and a kobold made three of us,
Going to Deglos one morning.

And going to Deglos, the very first thing was a
Druid of Verossa, druid of Verossa.
The kobold said, "Ho, a druid of Verossa,
Here in the fields this morning."

We saw the druid, but not all the cats,
The cats of Verossa? Cats of Verossa?
We all were struck down by the cats of Verossa,
There in the fields in the morning.

The dwarf and I both of us popped out in Blandenburg,
Naked as jaybirds, popped out in Blandenburg.
The dwarf said, "Let's run all the way home from Blandenburg,
Back to the fields where we fell."

But twenty steps into the trip home from Blandenburg,
There was there a troll-hole, right next to Blandenburg.
I fell in troll-hole, hid down in troll-hole,
On the wrong side of the trolls.

Now it isn't that hard to sneak goblin past trolls,
Or ogres or giants, but especially trolls.
But the trolls had a snake who was harder to sneak,
And she chased me right out past the trolls.

Then "Ha!" said the dwarf in a fashion most dwarfy,
"Now come the gnomes to waylay us here.
But if we run swiftly they never will see us,
In the warm afternoon in the woods."

But, "Whee," said the bandits, "this will be fun,
The dwarf there is fast but the goblin can't run."
See, goblin was poisoned by snake in the troll hole,
Couldn't run fast past the gnomes in the woods,
To get us both back to the place where the cats
Had stuck us down earlier before.

So running and hiding away from the gnomes,
Two leagues or more, away from the gnomes,
We found our way back to the place where we fell,
There in the field to the cats.

I said it out loud, to all who would hear, once I
Collected my stuff back and got back my wind. Once I
Got back my wind, and collected my stuff,
"For me here today that's enough."

But, no, no one listens to sensible goblin,
The sensible goblin in the fields of Verossa,
"Nay, let us leave here these fields of Verossa,
And go yet to Deglos this morning."

So on into Deglos, down into the mines,
The mines under Deglos, mines under Deglos,
So on into Deglos, the brave foolish three,
Deep in the mines there down under.

On the way in, it wasn't so bad,
The walk under Deglos, the mines under Deglos.
The mines under Deglos were not so bad,
As we wandered deep down in the dark.

We thought we had found the place we were seeking,
The mines under Deglos, the small town of Deglos.
But the gnome that we wanted was not there in Deglos
In that small town in Deglos, deep in the mine.

So goblin and dwarf pressed on for a bit,
Deeper deep-down in the mines under Deglos.
The kobold he somehow made him a wrong turning,
Got lost there down deep in the mines.

The dwarf and the goblin fought hook horrors there,
Hook horrors and spiders and umber hulks there.
Umber hulks by dozens down there in the mine,
We fought them and fought them and fought them and fought.

Then finally agreed there was no going further,
Down in the mines, deep down under Deglos.
There we turned back, and there once again,
Dozens of umber hulks blocking our path.

And quite tired and weary, the dwarf and the goblin climbed
Out of a stairway, back up into dwarftown.
Quite tired and weary, the dwarf and the goblin,
But there was no kobold up there.

The dwarf said "Enough!," and got him a room,
A room there to sleep in the caverns of Deglos.
The goblin back went to the town of Elysia,
Quietly sneaking back there.

But what of the kobold we left there in Deglos,
Wandering Deglos, alone, there, the kobold?
I guess there's a kobold down wand'ring in Deglos,
Deep in the mines with hook horrors and spiders,
Down in the mines with the umber hulks massing,
Deep down in the mines with the crabs so enormous,
Alone there's a kobold who wants to come home.

- Zor