A Divine Courtship

A Divine Courtship A play written by Rabiah Endymion-Irofin Commissioned by the Church of Cha'reth to commemorate the restoration of the Avariel. Reviewed: Filled with many inaccuracies, the play was nevertheless well received by the attendees.
Starring: Elong as Mishlekh, Jarriston as Cha'Reth, Eric as Forian, and Raen as Berryn among many other fine actors

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Monologue: The war is over. Nanshi and human no longer hack each other to bits in their brutal struggle over land they think belongs to them. In the subsequent peace an old elf lies wounded. His brother a priest of Dru'el is faced with the choice, let his brother die, or give his own life that his brother might live. Defying the Cycle he chooses the latter. Yet when his choice is made O'Ma and Mikon meet him before he rejoins the Cycle and invite him to join the pantheon. Here he brings his mortal love of healing into the divine circles and ascends to divinity as the god Cha'reth.

Act I-The Ascension of Cha'reth
Present: Toran, Dru'El, Forian, Berryn, Mishlekh, Gorethar, Dre'Ana

Forian: Dre’Ana for the last time I had no idea that she was one of your priestesses. I was only interested in her for her looks, not her religious affiliation.
Berryn and Dru’el chuckle
Forian: Anyways after we were done she barely remembered you so it’s not like she could have been that devout in the first place.
Dre’Ana: Pig!
Forian: Oh come now, tell me that you haven’t once been tempted to go to Toran Shaada to see if baby Toran’s little dragon-men aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.
Toran bristling with outrage: You really should take things more seriously Forian, you give divinity a bad name with your lusty irreverent disorderly behaviour and if I hear…
Forian cutting Toran off: Oh you’re still angry about that joke I played on old Kuras aren’t you? I can’t help it if I convinced him that the proper spelling of his name was Ura Largass for five years. Or if I convinced your high priest there that you’d prefer a statue in the temple where you’re holding a pie menacingly and not that sword of yours. You really should pick followers with larger brains. How many generations did they call you the great pie throwing one? Chuckles
Toran moves at Forian threatening but is held back by Gorethar
Fanfare breaks the conversation…Mikon enters with Cha’reth at his heals a lull surrounds the participants
Mikon in a loud commanding voice: Hearken all! From Arborea to the seven hells. Having passed the test in life and in death.; with the hand of immortality willing to give all that he possessed; forsaking life to give it to another we have this day raised an elf to our ranks. With healing in his wings and the power of life and death in his touch I present to you Cha’reth Sunheart.
Cha’reth steps forward and is quickly embraced by Dru’el
Cha’reth: My lord I am not worthy of such a greeting.
Dru’el laughing: In life I was your Lord my dear friend, here I am your brother.
Saddling up to Berryn Forian says loudly
Forian: Shame Dagath didn’t make it I don’t suppose he’s quite gotten over the shock of having someone who (in exaggerated tones) “cheated the Cycle” raised to the status of an equal.
Cha’reth blushes at that and looks around for support from the other gods present
Dru’el laughing: Oh don’t pay attention to him Cha’reth, Forian’s a lying, lascivious, lecher of a libertine.
Forian obviously impressed: Oh Dru’el why do you compliment me so, still your alliteration is quite nice when you want it to be.
Dru’el, Berryn, and Mishlekh laugh while the other gods glare at Forian, Mikon only shakes his head
Forian looking around the room: Well I can tell when I’m not wanted. Welcome to Arborea Cha’reth you will enjoy the brotherhood of the gods immensely I’m sure. Just be careful with the wine here it’ll make you do things that you normally wouldn’t, which isn’t good with divine powers.
Cha’reth smiling wickedly at Forian: Well that explains you I suppose.
Forian laughing: A good wit on this one Mikon, you picked one out well this time and you didn’t even have to father him. Forian exits laughing
Mikon: Please forgive him we don’t usually invite him to these affairs but there are some among us who find him funny looks at Berryn
Berryn: Even you have to admit Mikon it was quite funny when he convinced Balgar that his tale was part of a Malekian plot to hold back the wemics…laughing the image of Balgar spinning in circles trying to catch it will always be one of my favorites.
All gods but Gorethar and Toran laugh
Mikon: Well you know Dru’el as well don’t you Cha’reth? Cha’reth nods Well this is Berryn, Mishlekh, Dre’ana, Toran, and Gorethar.
Cha’reth smiles at them all with his eyes lingering on Mishlekh slightly longer than the rest. Berryn snickers slightly and Cha’reth quickly turns his attention to Toran and Gorethar who are standing stoically alone
Cha’reth: So you’re Toran and Gorethar are you?
The two gods exchange looks
Toran: That’s Lord Toran and Lord Gorethar young one, and yes we are.
Cha’reth: Oh good I was hoping to meet you later but since you’re here I might as well address this now.
Gorethar: Aye laddey? What can we do fer ya?
Cha’reth: Well it’s about your worshippers actually The eyebrows of both gods rise simultaneously indignant. They’re all so stuffy and condescending. Is there any way you can get them to loosen up a bit? Toran and Gorethar’s jaws both drop while the other gods grin That is to say I even had my bags searched and half of my alchemical agents confiscated the last time I was in Kuras.
Berryn: Oh they consider mellowsmoke an alchemical agent now? Seems like just yesterday when people smoked it only for pleasure.
Mishlekh, Dru’el, and Dre’Ana laugh
Toran putting his finger under Cha’reth’s chin he sputters: How…how…d…d..dd..ddaa…dare you tell ~me~ how to…to…to…order my followers.
Gorethar: An outrage, an outrage. The audacity of youths these days! No respect fer their elders I tell ya.
Mikon pulling Toran away: There there To…he just doesn’t understand yet. Why don’t you two go and check on Senath? I think he’s plotting something you wouldn’t like.
With a glowering look at Cha’reth both Gorethar and Toran sweep out of the room
Cha’reth (confused): Did I say something wrong?
Mikon: Well yes lad you're new at this so I’ll tell you now, don’t go correcting other gods about how they’re followers behave, it’s considered the height of rudeness. In particular don’t go telling those ~two~ to correct their followers. That’s like telling Verossa that she looks lovely when the sun’s out…it just never ends well.
The gods begin splitting off and talking amongst themselves, Berryn finds her way over to Cha’reth
Berryn: She’s pretty isn’t she?
Cha’reth: Who’s that?
Berryn laughing: You know who I’m talking about silly, Mishlekh. You like her don’t you.
Cha’reth blushes
Cha’reth: Well maybe a little.
Berryn: Well you know how to impress her? Start giving her gifts, she’s the god of wine and enjoys the pleasureful things of life.
Cha’reth: The elven elders always told me that Mishlekh was an elf.
Berryn: Maybe she was and maybe she wasn’t. I think she prefers speaking in elvish though.
Cha’reth: Oh really? Could you show me how to make some wine? It was never an area of strength for me and I think I might need some.
Berryn grinning: Fen my young Nanshi. Let me show you to the winery.
Exit

Act II-Awkward courtship
Scene I

Berryn and Cha’reth are bent over an alchemy table
Cha’reth: Are you sure it seems to me that we should add more yeast?
Berryn: Bah we’re making wine here not squishins…trust me I know what I’m doing.
Berryn pours what looks like a bag of sugar into a small pot, while Cha’reth looks on with a growing look of concern
Cha’reth: Isn’t that too much?
Berryn: Perfect. Stops pouring I’m sure Mishlekh likes her wines sugary, in fact I remember seeing her add sugar to the last batch of wine I made.
Cha’reth looking somewhat relieved: Well good I hope she likes it, how long do we let it age?
Berryn sounding befuddled: Age? No, wine is best young and fresh and sugary. Pours wine into a bottle After all the more you let it age the more likely it is to turn, best to drink it right away.
Cha’reth: Well that makes sense, what else should I bring her, should I dress up?
Berryn: No, no, you look fine.
Enter Mishlekh walking and talking with Dre’ana
Berryn: Oh there she is. Quick bring her a glass. Pours a glass of wine for Mishlekh and shoves it into Cha’reth’s hand. The wine spills down the front of Cha’reth’s robes.
Cha’reth: AUGHH…My robes.
Berryn: Oh don’t worry about Mishlekh always has wine stains on her clothes here let me refill that Pours in more wine and pushes Cha’reth to cross the room and talk to Mishlekh, which he does hesitantly
Dre’ana: You know there are times I want to bring him to my Maiden’s tower and give them godlike powers and some hot oil to punish him with!
Mishlekh: chuckles You know Forian would just enjoy that too much.
Dre’ana: shaking her head He is a sick bastard, I don’t understand why we let him come and visit us up here. His natural place is sulking down in the underdark with Maleki and that plotting git Valok.
Mishlekh: notices Cha’reth approach and shushes Dre’ana: Quiet, don’t speak ill of others in front of the newbie.
Mishlekh smiles at Cha’reth as he approaches So how are you getting on young one?
Cha’reth: stuttering F..f…fine
Dre’ana: cutting in Finally someone knows how to greet their elders grabs the glass of wine from Cha’reth and downs it in one gulp.
Cha’reth looking obviously flustered: Bu…bu…but that was…
Dre’ana: Swill! That’s what that was. Damn boy you’re supposed to remove the skins before you bottle the wine! And who’d you have in mind to drink that in the first place? A two year old who can’t hold his milk? There was enough sugar in there to bake several dozen cakes.
Mishlekh: Oh it couldn’t have been that bad Dre? Eyes the skins in the glass dubiously
Dre’ana: Well I suppose if I was mortal and had a sore throat it would have been soothing.
Cha’reth: Oh I…well…um…I am a healer after all; I must have had that in the back of my mind when I was brewing it.
Mishlekh: looks at Dre’ana with a look of amusement Of course dear, I’m sure that’s it.
Cha’reth: desperate to change the subject says to Mishlekh I thought you were an elf!
Dre’ana: Shakes head Now you’re in for it boy.
Mishlekh: frustrated Is that damnable rumor still floating around down there! Let me explain this to ~you~ since evidently I have to explain this to everyone, pulls on her ears see no points, means I’m not an elf. Pulls Cha’reth’s ears see pointy ears means you’re an elf!
Dre’ana chuckles while Cha’reth looks terrified Dre’ana: How did that rumor start anyways Mishlekh? You seduce a priest of O’ma’s in mortality and he had to make himself feel better by saying it was an elf-maiden that wore him to exhaustion?
Mishlekh snorts derisively, Cha’reth just rubs his ears: I’m not you Dre’ana. No, it all started when an elf dared suggest that I couldn’t make wine as well as the elves could.
Dre’ana: grins at Cha’reth The audacity!
Mishlekh: I know. Well I challenged him to a judged wine tasting competition. His of course tasted like…looks at Cha’reth well, swill compared to the fragrant strawberry wine I brewed. Afterwards he was so incensed that he started spreading the rumor that I was an elf, because no mere human, much less a Romini could brew such fine wine. Glaring at Cha’reth So now you know the truth!
Cha’reth: I…I…I…
Dre’ana: helpfully have a stuttering problem?
Cha’reth flees
Mishlekh: That might have been a bit mean.
Dre’ana: Oh loosen up Mishlekh, he needs to get a thicker skin if he’s going to have success gaining followers.
Mishlekh: Looks the direction Cha’reth fled Perhaps, but still I shouldn’t have scolded him like that. Looking back at Dre’ana Was his wine really that bad?
Dre’ana laughs, both exit

Scene II

Berryn and Forian sitting on a couch, Cha’reth pacing up and down nervously
Cha’reth: frantic What a disaster, what a disaster!
Forian: What happened lad? You look more agitated than a hive of hornets.
Berryn: trying to soothe Cha’reth It can’t have been that bad lad, what happened?
Cha’reth: shouting SHE PULLED MY EARS!
Forian: guffawing You didn’t tell her you thought she was an elf did you?
Berryn: Oh dear oh dear, I suppose I should have nipped that one in the bud from the beginning.
Cha’reth: YOU BOTH KNEW?
Forian: It’s not like you asked me lad…and dear Berryn tends to forget things like that…you’ve got to remember she can’t even see above an elf’s knees she’s so short.
Berryn: playfully punches Forian in the shoulder Hey I’m right here!
Cha’reth: What am I going to do?
Berryn: Now, now lad calm down. What did she think of the wine, did she like that at least?
Forian: bursts into laughter You had Berryn help you make wine to impress the goddess of wine? Oh dear gods you are a hoot!
Cha’reth: looks at Forian dubiously Well that’s one of the fortunate things.
Berryn: brightening Oh she liked it?
Cha’reth: Hardly. Dre’ana took it and drank it before I could give it to her.
Forian: That ice queen was there too? Oh you have the Negerai’s own luck.
Cha’reth: Crinkles nose Well I’d hardly say that, but at least she drank it. You didn’t even filter out the grape skins Berryn!
Berryn: Oh yes that’s the best part, it gives you something to chew once you’re done with the main body of wine!
Cha’reth and Forian both gape at Berryn
Berryn: What?
Forian: shakes head Let me help you boy, I know exactly what Mishlekh wants.
Cha’reth: looks at him skeptically No offense Forian, but I’ve heard you’re hardly trustworthy.
Forian: laughs I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard Toran say that too me.
Cha’reth: loosens up I suppose you’re right. What’s your idea?
Forian: Follow me.
Exit all three

Act III-Redemption and love
Scene I

Berryn and Forian sitting at a table sipping ale
Berryn: Thank you for helping him Forian, I guess I should admit that I’m not the greatest wine making person in the world. At least with your help Cha’reth stands a chance at winning over Mishlekh.
Forian: chuckles You’d think so wouldn’t you? But I highly doubt it.
Berryn: looking at Forian suspiciously What did you do?
Forian: innocently Why do you always suspect me of doing something?
Berryn: Because you always do! And whenever you get that look it’s something that’s going to hurt others.
Forian: impish grin My lady I see you know my nature, but you must believe that I never do these things to hurt others…it’s mostly for my entertainment that I do them, and lest I remind you, you usually end up laughing about them too.
Berryn glares Forian sighing overdramatically: Okay fine. I might have accidentally convinced Cha’reth that Mishlekh really loved other types of alcohol.
Berryn: eyes widening You didn’t?
Forian: innocently You never know when she might have a craving for an ale Berryn? Who are we to deny her?
Berryn: shouting YOU IDIOT. She pummeled you when you poured ale down her throat while she slept through Gorethar’s lecture on the nature of order in ant societies.
Forian: laughing Oh yeah I’d forgotten about that…maybe she liked the taste of that so much that she’ll be happy when Cha’reth presents her with his new “Better than any wine” ale.
Berryn: groans You had him name the bottle?
Forian: chuckles Shh here he comes.

enter Cha’reth shoulders hunched and looking disheveled
Cha’reth: glaring at Forian You mischievous bastard!
Forian: innocently Me? Oh my dear lad, I’m not mischievous, I’m entertaining!
Berryn: looking honestly contrite Oh Cha’reth I’m so sorry. What happened?
Cha’reth: despondent Well do you mean before or after she had Toran lecture me for ten hours about the proper order of courtship?
Berryn and Forian both cringe
That after having Dre’ana chase me around Arborea for five hours with a cloud of stinging insects?
Forian: thoughtfully Stinging insects? The ice queen is clever in her punishments.
Cha’reth: glares at Forian I’m beginning to think that you’re not really interested in helping me so much as in entertaining yourself.
Forian: feigning innocence Oh certainly not my pointy eared friend…well okay maybe a little, but if you remember I admitted as much just a second ago. hand on heart as if swearing an oath But I promise not to do it anymore.
Cha’reth: sighs Forget it Forian, I’m sure there’s another goddess out there willing to love a misfit like me. I fear my love for Mishlekh will remain unrequited.
sudden popping noise and a haggard Ptah appears with a suave looking Kelvos holding onto his arm
Kelvos: grinning Thanks for the ride old friend, people down there can laud gnomish ingenuity all they want but there’s no travel quite like Ptah travel.
Ptah: Stupid dandy! disappears with a pop
Forian: Kelvos what a pleasant surprised looks utterly displeased and unsurprised
Berryn: grins and plays with hair Hello again Kelvos.
Kelvos: rolls eyes Hi Forian, Berryn. So did I hear that someone was having love problems up here looks around a little impressed. I don’t usually work for gods but Mikon did make that special travel exception for me up here for love issues. There are such nice things here.
Forian: Bah…I despise those travel rules, if I followed those I’d never get to torment Dre’ana
Cha’reth: Or me…how nice that would be.
Kelvos: Ah yes a Forian caused love dilemma…you do leave quite a trail of those behind you old friend.
Forian: It’s an art, but now that you’re here I suppose my work here is done. stands and lifts Berryn by her hand Come my dear let’s go have a walk, I think I saw Dagath, Clangeddin, and Gorethar debating which of them had primacy among the dwarves. We could have fun with that.
Berryn: You do realize Gorethar is my father don’t you?
Forian: grins And I’m sure he’s proud of the company you keep.
Forian and Berryn exit
Kelvos: shaking head I’ll never understand those two. So you’re Cha’reth eh lad? Sorry I wasn’t there for your accession…I had some business to deal with involving a love stricken ogress in M’Chek. Sad situation, she was engaged to marry an ogre when she found out that he wasn’t what he pretended to be.
Cha’reth: Oh was he not a full blood ogre?
Kelvos: No much worse, he was a librarian. Of course she tore his throat out when she found out, but she was still very upset. Now what’s your problem lad?
Cha’reth: shudders at ogre story Well basically Mishlekh no more notices me than Balgar notices fleas.
Kelvos: chuckles Of which he’s got several million undoubtedly. And I’m guessing that dimwit and dumbbell had you try to woo her with drink?
Cha’reth nods Kelvos: laughs Well that would figure. Let me give you two pieces of advise. Number one, never try to impress the goddess of wine with your skills in brewing, you will always fail.
Cha’reth laughs bitterly: Yes I’ve learned that
Kelvos: Number two: You will only ever win her over by being yourself.
Cha’reth: By being myself?
Kelvos: Yes, think about your strengths. Now where’d my Ptah-chariot go? claps Ptah! Time to go, I’ve got a love sick dracon to meet in Kuras…sad story she thinks that she’ll be able to win one of the sprites of O’ma that works in the temple there. Ptah reappears Good luck healer and remember to be yourself.
Exit Ptah and Kelvos

Scene II

Queen Adathi kneels before a private altar to Cha’reth. Cha’reth, Dru’el and Mikon stand unseen by the queen on the edge of the scene
Adathi: praying Oh blessed Cha’reth, in mercy thou hast given us hope and rebirth. The curse of foul Angadar is broken by thy craft. With joy I present myself before thee, whole and reborn. Last and now first of the Avariel queens. Blessed be thy name among my people for all time…
Dru’el: Well my boy I knew that you would account yourself well here and now you have repaired a great evil in the land.
Adathi: …Though the fire of hateful wrath rent our people from the clouds, now thy healing touch lifts us to heights previously unknown…
Cha’reth: You know it’s funny. When I was raised to the courts above I think I forgot my life beneath. I forgot the simple joy of the healers touch, I forgot what brought me to that point in the first place, but here today, I think I finally understand that divinity does not and cannot exist without mortality.
Mikon: sagely There is great wisdom in that Cha’reth. You have today shown the healers touch on a divine scale. Greater in fact than any I’d thought possible to be perfectly frank.
Adathi: …Bless the healers hand oh knitter of bone, endow them with a healing soul my peace-giver, grant to them the sight to see beyond the wounds of flesh and bone that in-spite of mortal wounds they may wield with power thy comforting heart …
enter Dre’ana and Mishlekh
Dre’ana: So it’s true. Dagath said that the Cycle was now restored, but he’s always saying that.
Cha’reth: smiling and looking remarkably at ease Indeed it is restored. The avariel can come out of hiding, and retake their place frowns though at the cost of their flight. But it was impossible without that sacrifice.
Adathi: …For by your hand oh Cha’reth Restorer, a people are saved and reborn. Into thy hand my God I commit my soul, and the protection of my land and people for all time. Small though this sacrifice may be, it is all I have…may it be a testament to my people’s gratitude and our everlasting devotion to thee. bows to the altar again
Mishlekh: It’s odd…in all my years as deity, no prayer have I received so heart felt.
Dre’ana: That’s because your adherents are usually to drunk to string six words together dear.
Mishlekh ignores Dre’ana and approaches Cha’reth
Mishlekh: I fear that I misjudged you Cha’reth. You are no man’s fool.
Cha’reth: Oh I am a fool my lady. A fool who forgot his greatest gift for a time and allowed others to dictate who he was.
Mishlekh: A failing all have sometimes I fear, still I shouldn’t have pulled your ears blushes.
Cha’reth: offering Mishlekh his arm and leading the gods out Oh of course you should, didn’t you know that’s why elves have pointy ears, so they can be pulled?
Exit gods laughing
Adathi: turning to the audience And so it was that while in despair of love the prayers of a fallen people reached the ears of the youngest of the gods. Finding solace and strength his divinity and with the hands of healing Cha’reth lifted the curse from off my people, and in so doing won the love of the fairest of the gods.

END