Yo Mama

Introducing Avlis Yo Mama

The Avlis tongue-in-cheek version of the infamous "Yo momma" jokes.

Please note: This is a collection of OOC (out of character) jokes.

• Forum Thread

Yo Mama So Cheap

Yo mama so cheap, when she be hookin' in Mikona she gets the Spite just to save on lube.

Yo mama so cheap, she haggles with the alchemy table.

Yo mama so cheap, she makes Zach Featherfingers look like the patron saint of giving.

Yo Mama So Dumb / Stupid

Yo mama so dumb, Damar told her to cast color spray and she said "What color?"

Yo mama so dumb, she asks Ed questions.

Yo mama so stupid, if you gave her 2 gp for her thoughts, you'd get change.

Yo mama so stupid, she asks Hert to correct her spellin'.

Yo mama so stupid, she feeds iron rations to her sword.

Yo mama so stupid, she got lost in the Start Tent.

Yo mama so stupid, she puts on a Headband of Intellect to tie her boots.

Yo mama so stupid, she saw Fort Karr and asked where the tires was.

Yo mama so stupid, she sold her bow so she could afford to buy arrows.

Yo mama so stupid, she talks like Hert.

Yo mama so stupid, she thought you had to be a virgin to join the Maidens.

Yo Mama So Easy / Skanky / Slutty

Yo mama so easy, her CR is always Effortless.

Yo mama so skanky, Cherrie Pie asked for a refund.

Yo mama so skanky, even Tor wouldn't give her his WOD.

Yo mama so skanky, her belches smell worse than Father Gork's farts.

Yo mama so skanky, she swallows Hellballs.

Yo mama so slutty, Evard's Black Tentacles applied for a restraining order.

Yo mama so slutty, she's like all the Maidens combined.

Yo mama so slutty, she makes Micah look like a virgin.

Yo mama such a ho, she could suck the Barkskin off an elf.

Yo Mama So Fat

Rhissaerk iss the mightiessst eater in the world! Exssept yo fat mama.

Yo mama so fat, all nymphs had to hand in their clothes to make her mage robe.

Yo mama so fat, a barkskin spell only covers her left arm.

Yo mama so fat, Bedlam calls her Freedom Cow.

Yo mama so fat, Chocolate Bombes make her lose weight.

Yo mama so fat, Flenken asked her out to dinner and now he's broke.

Yo mama so fat, she can play on Ferrell and Elysia at the same time.

Yo mama so fat, for armor she wears Derrington Keep.

Yo mama so fat, her fat rolls are Psions.

Yo mama so fat, her picture on the Writ of Entry says "Continued on back".

Yo mama so fat, her shadow companion weighs 400 lbs.

Yo mama so fat, it takes three clicks to DM kill her.

Yo mama so fat, it takes two changelings to steal her form.

Yo mama so fat, it took four Shaahesk two days to skin her.

Yo mama so fat, it took four trips up the lift to get to Le'Or.

Yo mama so fat, Nightfang is actually her cleavage.

Yo mama so fat, she's half-orc, half-elf, and half-nymph.

Yo mama so fat, she's in every guild at once.

Yo mama so fat, she broke the alignment scale.

Yo mama so fat, she don't use heal kits, she uses heal tarps.

Yo mama so fat, she fell in Orcscourge Chasm and got stuck halfway down.

Yo mama so fat, she goes through Elf Gate sideways.

Yo mama so fat, she got a place where even a treant can plant his root tonite.

Yo mama so fat, she got a run in her plate mail.

Yo mama so fat, she got stuck in a Dimension Door.

Yo mama so fat, she has Natural DR of 4/15.

Yo mama so fat, she has to use a Bag of Holding for a lunchbox.

Yo mama so fat, she lost playing hide and seek because she was spotted hiding behind Mt. Crescetoria.

Yo mama so fat, she makes a gelatinous cube go "Damn dats a fat lady".

Yo mama so fat, she puts mayonnaise in Heal potions.

Yo mama so fat, she sat on glowmoss and out popped a healers kit.

Yo mama so fat, she sunk the boat from Mikona to Elysia.

Yo mama so fat, she took a dump in Yureth and now there's just smokin' ruins.

Yo mama so fat, she tripped in Zvidureth and crashed a DM event in Mikona.

Yo mama so fat, she visits Coventry Fairgrounds in Ferrell and tries on the tents.

Yo mama so fat, she went to Monthly Monday Madness and sat next to EVERYBODY.

Yo mama so fat, the only changeling form she can fit into is "T'eindel".

Yo mama so fat, the orcs used her ass crack for an idea on how to make Orcscourge chasm look.

Yo mama so fat, the pixies opened a marketplace on her ass.

Yo mama so fat, the M'Chekian Navy mark high tide when she goes to bathe in the sea.

Yo mama so fat, the portal keepers make her pay double.

Yo mama so fat, they lifted her fat rolls and found 3 pickpockets, 4 pixies and her Frilly Collar Dinner from the night before.

Yo mama so fat, Tollgaroth told her to go on a diet.

Yo mama so fat, we're afraid to cast Barkskin on her because her thighs might start a forest fire.

Yo mama so fat, when pixies fly past they get stuck in orbit.

Yo mama so fat, when she danced at a bard performance Rali skipped.

Yo mama so fat, when she farted in Deglos, she created the Deep.

Yo mama so fat, when she found faith they gave her three robes.

Yo mama so fat, when she gets on the boat to Elysia the captain goes "Damn, ladies, one at a time!"

Yo mama so fat, when she leans on a beetle belly she make more potions than Jerto.

Yo mama so fat, when she solos a dungeon she gets party XP.

Yo mama so fat, when she takes the portal her belly button arrives in Visimontium 15 minutes before her ass.

Yo mama so fat, when she tripped at the Rock she landed in the Government District.

Yo Mama So Hairy

Yo mama so hairy, her armpit looks like she has Thror in a headlock.

Yo mama so hairy, she uses Blade Barrier to shave.

Yo mama so hairy, werethings run for the nearest temple when she bites them in bed.

Yo mama so hairy, she got druids trying to tame her.

Yo Mama So Nasty

Yo mama so nasty, Dagath kicked her out of the Cycle.

Yo mama so nasty, even Gorethites were afraid to Lay on Hands when she got hurt.

Yo mama so nasty, her farts do 1d8 acid damage.

Yo mama so nasty, people be payin Evvyl E to keep her off the street.

Yo mama so nasty, she gave the Sereg a disease.

Yo mama so nasty, the server won't count her items.

Yo mama teeth so nasty, orc mages be runnin' when she smile thinking three Dominators jumped out from her lips.

Yo Mama So Old

Yo mama so old, it takes half the Red Order to light the candles on her birthday cake.

Yo mama so old, she's a zero-percenter.

Yo mama so old, she changed my elf granma's diapers.

Yo mama so old, she farts mummy dust.

Yo mama so old, she remembers when the Negerai came to Avlis.

Yo mama so old, she sits in a rocking chair more than Rhissaerk Jalesh.

Yo mama so old, when she joined the Kurathene navy the prime told her to go to pier 12 and wait for the water.

Yo Mama So Poor

Yo mama so poor, she had to take out a loan to eat at the Shelter of Hope.

Yo mama so poor, she had to take out a loan to get apples and wheat.

Yo mama so poor, when she gets mugged in the Docks the coves leave gold in her purse.

Yo Mama So Smelly

Yo mama breath smell so bad, Father Gork gave her a toothbrush.

Yo mama breath stink so bad, the farmer gave her 50xp to stop talking.

Yo mama smell so bad, she went swimming in Port Eridanus and now we can't get the smell out of the trout.

Yo mama so smelly, when she spreads her legs even the sailors of Mikona get seasick.

Yo mama feet stank so bad, she tried on Zach's boots of speed and he said "Lawd almighty, just take 'em!"

Yo Mama So Ugly

Yo mama so ugly, even a dwarf can't tell she's female.

Yo mama so ugly, even a Palemaster wouldn't raise her from the dead.

Yo mama so ugly, even acid and fire can't kill her.

Yo mama so ugly, even Alifanitax won't f**k her.

Yo mama so ugly, even Aria says bad things about her.

Yo mama so ugly, even Fortano's Mom won't touch her.

Yo mama so ugly, even Newbie Instructions won't talk to her.

Yo mama so ugly, even Nise didn't get a boner.

Yo mama so ugly, even the cave trolls in Deglos run in fear when they see her.

Yo mama so ugly, even the half-troll/half-night-hag Spittney Brr'earz had a better place in the last beauty pageant.

Yo mama so ugly, nobody ever casts a touch spell on her.

Yo mama so ugly, Phantasmal Killers won't go near her.

Yo mama so ugly, she did a striptease in Verlog and got arrested for human rights violations.

Yo mama so ugly, she even gives Wilsash nightmares.

Yo mama so ugly, she gets her own Dead Dreamer cultists when she goes to bathe in a lake.

Yo mama so ugly, she got negative energy protection 100%.

Yo mama so ugly, she makes No-Tooth look like a nymph.

Yo mama so ugly, she scared Nise.

Yo mama so ugly, she turned all the Maidens straight.

Yo mama so ugly, she turns medusas into stone.

Yo mama so ugly, I took her to the Mikona crypts and they offered her a job.

Yo mama so ugly, it's illegal for her to enter a Gauntlet without a ten runed Nymph Cloak.

Yo mama so ugly, mages throw her at the enemy when they're out of Wierds.

Yo mama so ugly, the Nanshilae word for her is wha'tthel'listha't.

Yo mama so ugly, the priest of The'ton freaks out when she walks by.

Yo mama so ugly, they use her as an example of what not to do when creating a Golem.

Yo mama so ugly, whenever she goes to Mikona the Guard makes her drink a Narin's.

Yo mama so ugly, when she sits in the sand in the desert the dire tigers try to bury her.

Yo Mama Unsorted

Yo mama's had more M'Chekians in her than the Warrens cave.

Yo mama's like a Palemaster... always lookin for a new bone to play with.

Yo mama's like the Visimontium Portal... always open, and charging gold for entry.

Yo mama's screwed more elves than the Blandenberg treaty.

Yo mama gives more head than Nightfang.

Yo mama has so many diseases, even Maleki won't touch her.

Yo mama has so many STDs, her last name should be Songbird.

Yo mama so cheesy, Bar'ak Obam'a the half-dragon/half-pixie shifter monk son of Gorethar calls her Cheddar.

Yo mama so depressing, Grag calls her a mental case.

Yo mama so elvish, her name is an apostrophe.

Yo mama so looney, Forian lets her garden the Wastelands.

Yo mama so lost, she asks Nadrin for directions.

Yo mama so stoned, her eyes are redder than Logani Nightcrawler's.

Yo mama so tall, she can drink at the Moon Tree when sitting in Zvidureth.

Yo mama such a bad driver, she crashes more than the forums.

Yo mama such a dog, Draxinar personally recruited her.

Yo mama such a drunk, her blood type is "Fire Spit".

Yo mama such a drunk, she got more booze inside her than Thorfinn has in his bags.

Yo mama such a masochist, a cell of Sereg screwed her and screwed her and screwed her and screwed her and...