The Terrible Lass

I recently was attacked by a drunken elven lass, she
Chased me down along the water's way
I am not so very fast so that she caught me at the last
Saying "This time, little goblin, ye shall pay!"

She thought herself a pirate, a terrible elven pirate
(Are there many elven pirates? I can't say.)
But nonetheless she said, "Goblin, soon ye shall be dead.
Ye'll walk the plank upon this very day."

(jig break)

Luckily for me, we were nowhere near the sea, there
Was no plank in sight for me to walk from.
Then a pretty gnomish girl, quick of wit and bright of curl,
Came and took the elven lass
The terrible piratey elven lass
The drunken terrible pirate lass
To where there was more rum!

-- Zor

This is based in a true story. I never learned the name of the elven lass (I saw her once, off in the distance later, but she did not acknowledge me). The gnomish girl, I discovered, was Mereppi Tinkerspellschnausendeglokin Mereppi Tinkerspell, to whom I remain grateful for this and other kindnesses not often granted to a goblin.