An Oak Gave Me This Cloak

by Adagio D'Tranticus

An Oak gave me this cloak my friends
I kid you not, it's true!
And if you don't believe me, then
I'll weave the tale for you.

A friend and I were strolling by
When we happened to see
A gnomish girl acting quite queer
Whispering to a tree.

I thought to speak to her, until
I heard my friend's voice ring:
"Is this 'Let's-Hug-A-Tree Day' or
Are we missing something?!?"

My friend is short and to the point
That's Miriel Xilo...
I'm sure she meant no great offense,
It's how she says 'Hello.'

Alas, the gnome whirled round with ire
As quickly as you please
She scolded us for not knowing
The language of the trees.

She said the oak before us
Thought that we were nasty weeds.
"This girl's head," I thought, "must be
Filled up with old birdseed."

She must have seen it on my face
And shot me quite a glare
Saying, "This tree takes umbrage with
Your funny shade of hair."

Laughing, I told the tree it was
A rotten hunk of wood
A great retort, I thought! Alas,
It wasn't all that good...

The ground rose up beneath our feet
We fell and hit the dirt
With ancient roots, the tree lashed out.
My left elbow still hurts!

It seems that I had angered it
My jest was far too strong.
My only course, of course, was thus:
I sang the tree a song:

~ o tree o tree
~ you stand before me
~ angry as can be
~ at me at me
~ I think you need
~ an apology
~ I did not mean
~ to harm or hurt thee
~ now leave us be
~ dear mister tree
~ we shall not flee
~ but we hope to leave
~ and know that we've
~ a friend in thee
~ instead of a woody
~ enemeeeeeeee!

Admittedly, the song was weak
The rhymes were not that good
But keep in mind my audience's
Brain was made of wood!

The branches seemed to soften as
It learned we were no threat
No roots lashed out, the tree it seemed
Was no longer upsetv
The tension ceased, we all relaxed
The song had done the trick
And so the gnome girl wandered off
Conversing with a stick.

As she was exiting, I spied
A crack along the ground
I knelt down by the roots to look
And see what I had found.

The oak lifted his root to show
A hole right underneath
A rope I tied and then climbed down
To see what lay beneath.

Huge beetles we did find below
An infestation vile
But *snick snack snick* we cleared them out
It only took a while.

And there below the old tree's roots
I had a lucky stroke:
Within an ancient chest I found
This brand new magic cloak!

I thanked the tree quite humbly and
We made our brief goodbyes
And as we walked away I heard
Leaves rustle in reply.

And so, you see, this cloak's a gift
From my new sap-filled friend.
I swear to you, this tale is true
From beginning to end!

It sure does make me wonder if
Somewhere there grows an Elm
And if I help him kill his bugs
I'll get a matching helm!


From The Complete Works of Adagio D'Tranticus, Vol. 3: Miscellaneous Mirth