The Terrible Lass
I recently was attacked by a drunken elven lass, she
Chased me down along the water's way
I am not so very fast so that she caught me at the last
Saying "This time, little goblin, ye shall pay!"
She thought herself a pirate, a terrible elven pirate
(Are there many elven pirates? I can't say.)
But nonetheless she said, "Goblin, soon ye shall be dead.
Ye'll walk the plank upon this very day."
Luckily for me, we were nowhere near the sea, there
Was no plank in sight for me to walk from.
Then a pretty gnomish girl, quick of wit and bright of curl,
Came and took the elven lass
The terrible piratey elven lass
The drunken terrible pirate lass
To where there was more rum!
This is based in a true story. I learned later the name of the elven lass, Eleanor of the Maidens, whom I now count as friend. The gnomish girl was Mereppi Tinkerspellschnausendeglokin, to whom I remain grateful for this and other kindnesses not often granted to a goblin.